Thursday, October 30, 2014

I have been bested by a fortune cookie

Chinese food, or at least what passes as Chinese feed here in New England, is a staple for eating out or 'take out' or 'take away' depending on from where you call home.  As ubiquitous as the faux Chinese cuisine is, so too is the fortune cookie.

Some just read and laugh at the pithy Confucius like sayings, others prefer to read them aloud with the suffix "in bed".  To me a bit of Chinese sounding advice is not a fortune.  To open an orange flavored cookie and read, "Wisdom comes from experience", is disappointing.  It may be wise, but it is no fortune.  "You will win the lottery" or "A dark stranger awaits outside" is a fortune.

So there I was, finished with my meal and ready to heap scorn upon my not-fortune cookie.  I carefully opened the plastic wrapper, which is strange since I am going to crush the cooking anyway to get at the paper inside.  I guess I am just obsessive like that.  Good news, the cookie is not stale and I can eat it.  So I pop half the cookie in my mouth and read what I expect to be my not-fortune, followed by shaking my head and clever witticisms of scorn.

Instead I laugh.  I laugh hard.  Hard enough that I am not able to read it immediately and pass it to my wife to read.

It says, "You will be successful someday."

Not only has this simple sentence taken me aback but it has disarmed my scorn by providing a real fortune. Further more, the clever bastards have in the guise of saying something clearly positive cut me off at the knees.  One simple sentence, and I can visualize the Asian gentleman smiling every so slightly at me, has devalued my accomplishments as a parent who has successfully raised four children, my achievements of thirty years as a business professional, my contributions to local civic organizations, my short stint as a musician in my younger days, you name it - they have all been stripped away by this good natured, I have faith in you, do not give up now, little piece of fortune.

Touche master fortune writer, for tonight you have bested me.  But be wary, for someday I will be successful and then, watch out!

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